Thank you for having me here today. It is an absolute
honor. I feel lucky that I had the opportunity to attend
Topeka Collegiate. It is only from the teachers, staff,
and community here, that I learned to believe in the
limitlessness of my own potential and the work ethic
necessary to realize it.
I want to start with congratulating the graduates on
this awesome milestone. It is important to celebrate
every victory you have now and in the future. So let’s
give the graduates another round of applause.
Walking in here today, I was immediately swept with
nostalgia. I remember walking down these very halls.
They seemed much bigger back then. Or maybe I
was just smaller. I remember how nervous but excited
I was for high school, college, and everything ahead. I
also remember how stressful it was. So I hope you
clear your head, and be present in this moment.
When I was deciding what to talk about today, I asked
a close friend of mine what I should do. His advice
was “to be funny.” I asked him what he meant. He
provided me with the following joke. “Why was the
math book sad?” I painfully asked “Why?” He
responded, “Because it had too many problems.” I
paused, and quickly realized that if this is all I had,
only Mrs. Hoyt, myself and mother (who frankly has to
laugh) would be the only ones amused. So I politely
declined his advice.
Today, I want to tell you three stories from my 27
years of life. Someone once told me, “you don’t learn
anything from someone’s successes,” so today I
would rather share with you some of my failures. After
all, those are much more interesting.
So lets get started with my first story. Who here has
seen the movie the “Social Network” based on the
creation of Facebook? Raise your hand. Do you
remember Justin Timberlake? If I don’t see every
single woman’s hand raised in this room, I will be in
utter shock. The guy he was portraying was based on
a real person. His name is Sean Parker. He was the
one that said to young Mark Zuckerberg, “A million
dollars isn’t cool, you know what is cool? A billion
dollars.” Today he is worth more than 2 billion dollars.
I remember sending him an email when I was twenty-
one sharing a random idea I had for a business. He
sent me a one-page email back telling me why it was
terrible. But that wasn’t it, he also told me how to
make it better.
The point of this story is not that he was absolutely
right. My business idea did suck. Rather it is about
“asking for help”. Having the courage to put yourself,
your weaknesses, and your ideas out there. The
worst that can happen, is you end up right where you
started. In my case, I ended up working for him for a
year. Although, I still sometimes I wish I worked for
the “real” Justin Timberlake.
The ability to “ask for advice” was something that did
not come naturally. Take my AP Euro class at Topeka
High School. It was the only class I didn’t get an A in.
Instead of reaching out to my peers, and my teacher, I
locked myself up in a room, with some hot Cheetos,
and convinced myself that I could figure it out myself.
Even worse, when I didn’t, I blamed it on the
incompetency of my teacher at the time. My
arrogance, was the difference between becoming the
Valedictorian and not.
Throughout a series of experiences similar to my AP
Euro class, I started second guessing my stoic “do it
yourself” attitude. This changed during my first job. I
remember asking my boss a question. It took a lot of
courage. He answered back, “that was a good
question.’”
I realized, then, that the people I admired most, like
my first boss or Sean Parker, were themselves the
most open to receiving feedback and guidance. I
should follow suit. I now apply this “philosophy” to
everything, and I encourage you to as well. Whether it
is A’cing a final in a hard class or preparing for your
dream college.
It is human nature to help others succeed. So don’t be
afraid to ask for help. My motto this year has been,”
don’t worry if you don’t know something, just ask
someone that does.”
Ok, one story down, two more to go. I have been a
follower most of my life. At TCS I participated in
several activities because my childhood friends did. I
even wore the same clothes as them. Fifteen years
ago, it was white bubble coats from the GAP and wide
legged jeans from the Vanity in the mall. I don’t
recommend either of those fashion trends to make a
comeback. In high school, I did debate and forensics
because that is what the “smart” kids did. I did drill
team, because that is what the “cool” girls did. In
college, I was an economics major because my three
best friends thought it was a good idea to get a job in
finance. And these are just the things I followed, that I
am not totally embarrassed about!
Most of my life was built on “what I should do” versus
“what I wanted to do.” I did this for a few reasons. I
feared not fitting in. I was convinced there was a
formula for success, and if I did not follow my peers I
would be behind. And finally, I honestly didn’t know
what I wanted to do, so instead of digging deeper, it
became easier to just follow the people around me.
It wasn’t until a big bank crashed, and the entire
financial industry flipped upside down, right before I
graduated college, that I was forced to contemplate
what I wanted to do with my life. I do not want this to
happen to you. I want you to discover who you want
to be, much earlier.
So, how would I have done this differently? Here are
five tips I wish I would have known.
• Start thinking about your interests, and your
career now. There is no such thing as too early.
• Be in touch with yourself. Think about what you
stay up at night thinking about, or what you like to
do naturally. Do you find yourself helping out your
classmates? Do you enjoy math or English? Do
you envision your life a certain way?
• Ask people around you what they imagine you to
be. You don’t have to always listen, but people
observe you quite differently than you perceive
yourself.
• Try a bunch of activities if you don’t have a clue.
But make sure to be reflective.
• Research career paths. For example, if you have
an idol, Google that person and figure out what
they did to get to where they are now. OR if you
have an innate strength like public speaking
develop a list of careers or interests that really
leverage that skill.
The goal here is to be in touch with your interests
early, so you can then spend your time in high school
and eventually college, focused and diving deeper
around them. Eventually making a career from them.
Finally do not stress about fitting in, you will always
find a tribe, that gets your dreams, even if they aren’t
the people immediately around you.
For me I discovered my love for entrepreneurship,
creativity and problem solving. I hope you find yours
too.
On to my last story, when I was your age, I was very
competitive. I derived value from being the best. As a
result, I was very stressed out. I remember being
absolutely distraught about not qualifying to regionals
in History Day in the sixth grade or not making the
MathCounts team. Thankfully, Mrs. Hoyt made me the
first alternate...and Mrs. Zachritz calmed me down
with intense art projects around Van Gogh’s Starry
Night. Otherwise, I might have flipped.
I feared failure more than anything. I, unfortunately,
took this fear with me to college and my first job.
When I graduated, most of my friends went down
really typical career paths - lawyers, doctors,
consultants etc. I decided that I wanted to try to start a
tech company. What I didn’t know at the time is that
95% of start-ups failed.
At this time, my peers were living the life. They had
solid paychecks, which enabled them to buy fancy
things and eat out at the top restaurants. Meanwhile, I
shared an apartment with my four business partners,
made almost no money, and ate Ramen Noodles and
pizza way too often. During this period of time, my
mind was consumed by thoughts like…
• “Did I make the wrong choice?”
• “Ugh, I can’t buy anything, will I have to wear this
ugly hoodies for the rest of my life?”
• “Was my Stanford degree worth it?” ...and
• “Crap, this Ramen noodle package is really bad.”
My insane fear of being perceived as an absolute
failure, made me approach my business rashly. I took
shortcuts, and wanted results immediately. Well it
turns out that my company did fail, and it was only
then that I had a moment to reflect.
Patience with yourself is critical. I wish I knew this. So
I urge you to be kind to yourself when you head into
high school. If you don’t make the team, or aren’t the
best in your class on day one, be patient and allow
yourself the room to grow at your own pace.
I also found that, failure is liberating if you can grow to
learn from it. It allows you to live your life creatively
and passionately, because you aren’t worried about
what others think. It is why I think children are so
creative, because they just don’t fear being judged.
So that is it. Those are my three stories. Story one, is
about asking for help. Story two, is about discovering
what you are meant to do by trusting yourself. And
story three, is having the patience to realize your
inner greatness.
I hope they can serve you well, when you face some
of your own obstacles. Whether it is tomorrow, in high
school, or the future.
Congratulations, 2014 graduates. You have so much
to look forward too!