spirituality, or should she gain some experience and independence before making such a big
commitment? Has marriage historically been a way for men to control and exploit women’s
bodies and labor? Or is heterosexual marriage and procreation the blueprint that God intended
for the fulfillment of all Jewish women, their families, and the entire Jewish people?
Now, onto a more personal note: In my research, I’ve been continuously surprised at the
nuanced sophistication and thoughtfulness of much of the material I’ve seen. In my enthusiasm
to read every possible point of view on this subject, I’ve tracked down pieces by commentators
on Biblical, Talmudic, and later rabbinic texts; rabbis grappling with the real-life issues faced by
their congregants; theologians, historians, and thinkers from every walk of Jewish life;
researchers examining the sexual behavior of American Jews; and even a sex educator hoping to
integrate Jewish ethical values into her everyday work. Without this research project, I never
would have had a chance to read all this material, nor to examine all these points of view.
Because I want you to share the same thought-provoking experience I had, I’ve decided to
arrange my bibliography alphabetically rather than by ideological affiliation. (Don’t be thrown
off by the large number of liberal sources starting with A and B; it gets more diverse as you go
along, I promise.) I would recommend that you read the bibliography straight through, if you
can, and take time to hear the different voices that you otherwise might not have heard. I know it
takes a lot of time to read the entire thing, but I think you’ll agree with me that the topic is quite
intrinsically interesting. You might even want to look up and read some of these books, articles,
and websites, which should be available in a standard college library.
I hope all of the issues I’ve brought up give you some background before reading the
material that follows. Some of what follows might be difficult for you to absorb, if you adhere
strongly to a particular type of Jewish philosophy. In that case, I’d recommend you talk to a