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authority figures, and interacting with unfamiliar people. Once you have a list, try and
arrange them from the least scary to the scariest. Starting with the least scary situation,
repeat that activity or enter that social situation (for example, saying “hi” to a co-worker
every morning) until you start to feel less anxious doing it. Once you can enter that
situation without experiencing much anxiety (on numerous occasions), move on to the
next situation on the list. For more information, see Facing Your Fears – Exposure.
TIP: If you haven’t already, spend a couple of weeks keeping track of the
types of social situations that make you anxious. This can help you
compile your list of feared situations.
Eliminating Subtle Avoidance and Safety Behaviours
Rather than completely avoiding social situations, some people engage in subtle
avoidance strategies or do things to feel safer or prevent their feared expectations from
coming true. For example, if you’re worried about saying something stupid, you might
try to say as little as possible. Examples of subtle avoidance strategies or common
safety behaviours include:
Removing oneself from the situation (e.g., sitting on the outside of the group,
frequently going to the bathroom, finding a task to look busy)
Hiding visible signs of anxiety (e.g., wearing turtlenecks or lots of make-up to hide
blushing)
Using alcohol or drugs (e.g., drinking while in social situations)
Distracting oneself (e.g., trying to think about other things, “zoning” out)
Avoiding sharing personal information (e.g., keeping the conversation on
superficial topics, asking the other person lots of questions so the focus is on
them, changing the subject)
Avoiding drawing attention to oneself (e.g., avoiding eye contact or smiling,
wearing sun glasses, speaking quietly, saying very little)
Overcompensating (e.g., over-preparing for presentations, rehearsing what you
are going to say ahead of time)
TIP: We are often unaware of the things we do in social situations to feel
safer. So, for the next few weeks pay close attention to the things you do
to protect yourself in social situations.